I AM A GOAT - A BLOG SERIES
Digesting roughage is all about taking time to absorb nourishment.
There is the gentle stroking of a book cover. The smelling of pages. An admiration for a ribbon, the thickness of paper, design choices, structure. Dutifully reading from cover to cover. Passionate reading and re-reading of the ones that are nestled in my heart. The subtle discovery of a book in a secondhand bookstore that almost feels like kismet, on a day when I wasn’t intentionally looking.
(I wonder, is there even such a thing as not looking for books? :))
I love books. I collect books. I am the proud owner of an anti-library. There is no pressure here, but there is discipline. There is no TV in my house, I do engage with social media, but I try to read every day and am invested in this habit. I curate intuitively and simply follow my interest. And for whomever wants to borrow a book, I open my house.
A lot of people tell me they do not read anymore. That they can’t read anymore. They experience a lack of energy, feel overwhelmed after a long day, or cannot concentrate long enough. Possibly they find their body to be too restless, unable to sit down long enough to get through a book. Also, books are intimidating to some folks. A result of conditioning; there is an implicit authority on what knowledge is considered valuable, and in what ways we are expected to engage with it, and how knowledge is unequally distributed. Instead, knowledge should invite people in. Knowledge should be shared.
There is a clear hierarchy in what words are appropriate, if you want to enter the empire. White-supremist capitalist patriarchy has colonized knowledge - as well as language, determining the ways in which to pass on what we know to others. There is knowledge no one told you existed. And certain books are actively kept away from entering public knowledge. An acknowledgement of the impact of gate keeping information on people’s relationship to books, is a prerequisite for the process of world-making.
In relation to disability for example; there are academics making a career out of describing what it is like to be disabled. While some sick and disabled folks cannot advocate for themselves, because they have not been introduced to the vocabulary to describe their daily experience. This of course, is the case with a lot of people whose knowledge is appropriated; a practice that ultimately leads to excluding the folks who developed the culture, the practice, the slang, the music, the art.
A couple of years ago, Joy Mariama Smith facilitated a Mad about Study training in collective reading and writing, conversations, somatics, movement research, karaoke, and more (Training for the Not-Yet, Jeanne van Heeswijk, BAK 2019). “What does it really mean to be ‘mad’ about study?”, a relevant question, specifically in relation to community. By opening up the concept of reading or redefining what studying can be, the gathering functioned as a decolonization of the centrality of formal education.
A space was created to explore what taking in knowledge can be all about, inviting us to engage with the many unrecognized knowledges our bodies hold and to re-acquaint ourselves with our desire to learn. Right there, is where I abandoned what I had been taught, about engaging with knowledge. I started reading in small increments. I picked up whatever book tickled my fancy. Following my appetite from book to book. Sure, I still finish books chronologically from time to time, but only if my hunger to know more leads me there.
When humans share their knowledge, it comes alive. That can be through language and storytelling, but there are so many other ways to be in community while passing on insights and practices. We need an anticolonial approach to reading, now more than ever. Let us share paragraphs, as if they were handcrafted chocolates – like small bite size seductions of all that is yet to discover. As starters for conversations, and invitations to connection.
When reading about the experiences of someone who grew up on another continent, reference points shift. Getting lost in translation when chatting with a group of people, is one of the most exciting things for me. An exchange in a language that no one recognizes as their mother tongue, can show intricacies of language and human meaning making that a moment ago seemed impenetrable.
We will invent new ways of knowing, if we want to. It is ours for the taking: we own knowledges of our bodies, our words, our gestures, our shared moments of sensing. By passing on what we experience and what we read, it can contribute to integrating insights and collective knowledge. Treat yourself today, read something.
Treat yourself.
Read something.