What's in a name?


As of this moment the projects I work on as a performance designer and a artistic researcher will be presented under my own name instead of a company name such as De Krachtcentrale. With this I want to manifest my artistic vision more prominently and more personally. A development that I've really had to grow into. Or more honestly: a development I have been fighting tooth and nail ever since I first started producing art projects and someone suggested it to me twelve years ago.


I have always been hesitant to draw attention myself. It makes me feel uncomfortable to the degree of wanting to crawl out of my skin. My focus has been on communicating content to an audience through art. The work is where the attention needs to go to. That this work originates in me and that it represents my personal views on the world is something I conveniently ignored. A very strange dynamic when you think about it because I do have something to say and work really hard to put it across to an audience. I just was never very comfortable saying it in public, or in person for that matter. But the subjects I am fascinated by need the public's attention and in the end this apparently out-rules any form of awkwardness. Besides. This fear of public speaking started to annoy me. 


Having been faced by this unrealistic desire to be invisible more frequently in recent years and getting more and more frustrated by this I realized it is a kind of behavior I want to let go of. Now there are off course more subtle ways to work on such a transition than simultaneously launching a website, a logo and a booklet. But then again, enough is enough. 


A long time ago I came up with some basic rules for myself that I've stayed true to ever since:

1. You can achieve anything you want as long as you work hard and persevere.
2. Have courage. 
3. When afraid, adjust the pace but continue the path. 
4. Stand up for what you believe in.

These rules have prompted me in the right direction whenever in doubt or fear. But in order for me to comply to rule #4 an addition is highly necessary. 

5. Let yourself be seen. 


And so I will. Starting now. 


Through this blog I'm hoping to offer some insighst into some of the processes I am involved in, personal and professional.
What sparks a design-process? What questions drive someone to even consider PhD research? How does one attain goals that scare the hell out of one? I will post my thoughts and experiences here albeit probably irregularly but enthusiastically none the less. 


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